would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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