Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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