He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
