How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
