And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
