The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
