It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
