i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize