Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I don't think brook has ever known best
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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