the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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