Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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