I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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