But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
