If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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