We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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