By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
