You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
