I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
