please come you make the beer taste better
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers