overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I need to sanitize my soul.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit