that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
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I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
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Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved