that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.