the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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