based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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