What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
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