tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
