when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
