just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
