We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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