If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
