Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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