Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
