You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
