I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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