My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
