Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
