Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
