Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Two words: nipple clamps
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