Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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