her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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