There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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