he wants to bone in the snuggie
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize