Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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