you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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