Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
bring money and cleavage
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
