I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
