ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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