I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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