After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize