I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
