How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
