I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize