If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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