I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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