all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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