Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
