Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
