it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
