Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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