May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
