I queefed so loud it echoed.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
