Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
