Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
