In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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