my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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