At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
