I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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