Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
