Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
