what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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