Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
